if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you
guy: psstt! look at me while you suck. i wanna see those eyes
girl: *looks up*
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
when you realize that you woke up late
Everything about this upcoming semester of school has me fucked up. I can’t even sleep right now cause I haven’t figured out how the fuck I’m gonna pay for it.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches
Those r my mums initials…,
say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded